Dear [Insert applicant's Last Name and LSAT score and Identifying Information for our Massive Listserv]:
On behalf of the Princeton Law family, let me be the first to congratulate you on your admission to the Princeton Law Class of 2024. This year's applicant pool was among the most competitive and accomplished classes ever (actually we just never delete that sentence but you should still feel kinda special).
You'll find our faculty to have an open door policy, our students to be collegial, and that a train not only runs through our campus (true story), but through the actual law school. All aboard for some studying!
But, we also have fun. There is a bar on campus, "The Alchemist and The Barrister" (also true story) founded by a Princeton chemist and lawyer. On Thursday nights out students rent the entire bar and party well into the night, so we don't have classes on Fridays! (this is actually because our faculty don't want to teach but still --shots on the house all Thursday!)
You will also find New Jersey to be... never mind, we can't say it with a straight face. So we will be following with your tuition amount, but only after you pay your first 6 deposits. In the meantime, should you have any questions don't hesitate to visit us by train during a global pandemic.
Yours truly,
Dean Loki
(Disclaimer: there is no Princeton Law School nor do we intend to use any name in this farce to imply any school. We simply feel bad for some applicant who is making a meme every day until their PLS admit)